Freedom From Parents Nagging

Freedom is when my parent stops nagging me for everything
· ‘get your homework done first and then you can go play’
· ‘put your things away properly and then you can play on the computer’
· ‘finish that food on your plate or you are going to sit there forever’
·  ‘put your shoes on the rack’
· ‘put your jackets in the closet’
· ‘clean your room’
· ‘why are the toys not cleaned up’
·  ‘fix your bed after you wake up’
· ‘put your dirty clothes in that hamper’
· ‘don’t mess up the entire closet when you take out a shirt’
 
The list goes on…
Basically the point is the kid just wants to be living in a fairy tale world and not do anything. Or may be they are thinking of their mom as Mary Poppins who just snaps her finger and the things are done. Guess what my lovely darling children I am not Mary Poppins and this is not a fairy tale world. While you can definitely have a mom who won’t nag about things; to be organized, clean, and taking care of your own stuff are some important lessons to learn and I am not going to wait for your spouse to teach you these very basic fundamentally important lessons in life (pun intended).
 
As the nagging mother of my kids who wants the house to be in order, I have found some weird tricks to get them to do things that they may otherwise find very bothersome or boring. However, it may not work for everyone but it has definitely worked for my boys.
 
For some important things like school work required to be completed at home I have had to step back and let them learn from their own mistakes. This was one of the tough lessons to teach my kids. But it has done wonders and the lesson came to my kid in fourth grade. It was a challenge for me but I had to let him go to school knowing that he was lazy and had not finished his homework. Truly it was a very difficult day for me, I was very nervous and worried all day not sure if I did the right thing. But it was worth it because the reward was just amazing. Yes my boy came home very upset. He had just experienced what it felt like to be a failure. It was definitely not a good feeling (I am glad he associated failure with not so good feeling and took the step that he did). He promised to me and more to himself that he is never going to let that happen to him again and will always get his homework done on time. It was a very important lesson for him to learn. To this day all that unnecessary nagging is gone. Now suddenly I was the Good mom who never nagged about school work.

A totally win-win situation. Sometimes small failures are good motivators. Self-made mistakes and lessons learned from them stay with one forever. I am not advocating letting our kids make a whole lot of mistakes thinking they will only learn that way. But one has to decide what is worth nagging for and what is worth letting them learn themselves!
 
Now for other things. All I do for anything out of place is that I charge them with hugs and kisses. This rule may not apply to girls but with boys it definitely works. If any of the items in their room, bathroom, toys, clothes, and shoes are out of place, they have to pay for it. And they pay for it by rewarding me with a number of hugs and kisses. Even though they don’t sound like punishment they are just more embarrassing for them especially as they grow. If those simple things don’t work I have taken it to the next level where I will declare that “since these things are not done you will have to give me a hug in front of your teenage friends”. Now that is something the teen doesn’t want to do and all that nagging is out the door. There is just no need for it.
 
Go for it. Be creative. And reward yourself. You can be creative and find various ways that will not only reward you but will turn routine things that instead of creating frustration will be just light and fun. So with these smart kids of ours just become smarter and instead of using loud voices just get them in action with things that might otherwise embarrass them. I definitely enjoy the rewards of being the not so nagging mom. Until nagging about hugs and kisses turn into a big deal for my kids. I will continue to do so…
Until next time. Have a wonderful Christmas and a joyful new year!