This one is a Freedom request from my teen.
He says “Mom. Can I get through an entire day with just saying I don't know?”
Do you want to eat this? I don't know
Do you need help with anything? I don't know
Do you know when you have your tests? I don't know
What did your teacher think about your projects? I don't know
What are you going to do for your competition? I don't know
Do you know which friends are coming to your birthday party? I don't know
Do you know what you want to do? I don't know
Do you know anything? I don't know
Any question I ask, he wants to be able to answer with “I Don’t Know” and says that not knowing Everything is OK sometimes. He feels free when he doesn't have to give answers to questions that sound trivial to him. Although, that question could be important to a parent! But that doesn't matter, does it?
Usually every question that I ask him can be answered with Yes or No and the rest can be answered with his favorite “I Don’t Know”. It does annoy me a lot. And over time I have learned to ask questions that requires his attention and a little more effort. Overall, the IDK (in today’s texting world) answer does get him in trouble cause it is not helpful with anything. I would usually react with “You have got to know something, anything?” In this case I want to ask you parents out there - have you come across this? Does your child try to get away with a Yes, No or IDK answer? I don't remember being able to get away with this answer atleast when I was young. Although I would have loved to. And because I was not able to get away with such an answer how can my son be allowed to get away with it. So my stand is that you better answer with something.
On the other hand I do understand where he is coming from. He's a teen and really enjoys being in his own world. Most of the time, he is able to give some sort of answer so he can rush back to whatever activity he was doing. If the question doesn't seem important to him, he'll only give a forced answer just to satisfy you for a moment .
So a lesson here for us is
1. Learn to be ok with sometimes not having answers to questions and if you really want your kids to answer
2. Develop a skill of asking specific questions that cannot be answered with Yes, No or I Don’t Know.
Enjoy learning and becoming an expert at asking specific questions that can turn into conversations rather than a short Yes, No and IDK!
He says “Mom. Can I get through an entire day with just saying I don't know?”
Do you want to eat this? I don't know
Do you need help with anything? I don't know
Do you know when you have your tests? I don't know
What did your teacher think about your projects? I don't know
What are you going to do for your competition? I don't know
Do you know which friends are coming to your birthday party? I don't know
Do you know what you want to do? I don't know
Do you know anything? I don't know
Any question I ask, he wants to be able to answer with “I Don’t Know” and says that not knowing Everything is OK sometimes. He feels free when he doesn't have to give answers to questions that sound trivial to him. Although, that question could be important to a parent! But that doesn't matter, does it?
Usually every question that I ask him can be answered with Yes or No and the rest can be answered with his favorite “I Don’t Know”. It does annoy me a lot. And over time I have learned to ask questions that requires his attention and a little more effort. Overall, the IDK (in today’s texting world) answer does get him in trouble cause it is not helpful with anything. I would usually react with “You have got to know something, anything?” In this case I want to ask you parents out there - have you come across this? Does your child try to get away with a Yes, No or IDK answer? I don't remember being able to get away with this answer atleast when I was young. Although I would have loved to. And because I was not able to get away with such an answer how can my son be allowed to get away with it. So my stand is that you better answer with something.
On the other hand I do understand where he is coming from. He's a teen and really enjoys being in his own world. Most of the time, he is able to give some sort of answer so he can rush back to whatever activity he was doing. If the question doesn't seem important to him, he'll only give a forced answer just to satisfy you for a moment .
So a lesson here for us is
1. Learn to be ok with sometimes not having answers to questions and if you really want your kids to answer
2. Develop a skill of asking specific questions that cannot be answered with Yes, No or I Don’t Know.
Enjoy learning and becoming an expert at asking specific questions that can turn into conversations rather than a short Yes, No and IDK!
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