Freedom is when I am not COMPARED to others

I am a unique soul born as a beautiful baby.  I am totally loved for who I am, how cute I am and how amazingly smart I am for my age.  Even the slightest silly thing I do is cute, or a short word that I might speak would light up the whole room. There is no expectation from me as a child. I am free to be me.   

But one fine day that freedom of being me is taken away. I am suddenly a grown up kid that now starts going to school.  Suddenly my life is now surrounded with people who gauge me, my goodness, my abilities etc. based on the people around me.  Suddenly I am entered into this lifelong world of competition where people strive to be better than others.   Maybe everyone who registered my name for this competition had good intentions in their minds for me, maybe they wanted me to see my potential and become my best.  However, I will say, it wasn't the most encouraging place to be in. It didn't even motivate me to strive for anything. 

So you may ask “What am I talking about?”  Well I am talking about the time when suddenly  everything I did was just not good enough.  Suddenly I was compared with everyone around me.  My siblings, my cousins, my neighbors, my friends and even my fellow classmates were all being compared against me.   Everyone started to notice that my grades were not as good, or I was very different from my siblings or I didn't eat as well as they did.  Who knows, maybe they were all too well behaved and never got in trouble.  They were capable of being the gold and silver medalist of the school but I did not even stand a chance amongst the first 100. I wasn't the best cook coming out of college. I wasn't  the strongest person because I cried at other’s pain let alone mine.  

I wasn't the best at a lot of things in life because I was still learning from my experiences. And the well-wishers that I was surrounded with never missed a single chance to point out things that were different in me.  Truly, my being different almost didn't sound as a compliment.   I was totally confused. Was this all being done for my good? If so why didn’t it feel like that?  I think everyone truly loved me and was doing their best to motivate me because they may have seen the potential in me that I didn’t see. I was confused.

My questions were all over the place.  Why is there such competition? Why do I have to be better than or like my siblings? Why do I have to be better than my neighbor’s kid or my cousin? Why do I have to be the best in this whole wide world? Why do I have to score the most, do every activity that every child is doing out there? Why do I have to prove my unique self?  Am I living my life or am I living other’s lives?   Who am I competing against? Why am I not allowed to be who I am? And when will I win? Or will I never win?  There are no rules to this game.  The comparison chapter in life comes and goes.

I am writing this today because I have seen that there is competition everywhere.  Maybe healthy competition is good, but only to the point where the individual’s self- confidence is not broken.  It’s only good till the child doesn’t feel lonely and doesn’t feel that they are not good enough just the way they are.  Be mindful of the difference between PRAISING, CRITICIZING and COMPARING.  If you really wish good for someone you care about and wish to show them their potential please learn to point it out with care and love and not with comparison to anyone or anything.  Point it out such that you are not demeaning or putting the person down.  Don’t pass comments just because you feel you have to say something.  PRAISE someone for what they are and think before you CRITICIZE for what the person isn’t.  

I understand this very well and I don’t think I am giving enough justice to this topic in my life. It’s a very sensitive topic for me and I end up feeling that “I am not good enough.”  Not good enough for WHO? FOR WHAT? WHY?

It is a very debilitating feeling when a unique soul who has its own special inner intelligence is declared as not being good enough.   Please don’t do that.  Your  very innocent and funny, but the softest comparison may truly hurt someone including your own little children.  Don’t make anyone feel that they are any LESS than anyone else, even in the simplest form.  I encourage you to AMPLIFY LOVE.  

I’d rather feel that I am GOOD just the way I am and there is more to EXPLORE, there is more to LEARN and there is always room for IMPROVEMENT.  Yes I have the ability to be inspired by people who are better than me, but that can only happen if I am already feeling good about myself.  Also friendly competition and constructive criticism can sometimes bring along freedom in the path ahead.  If I have faith in myself I am able to improve and strive to become better every day.  And I do strive to be on this journey of self-improvement on a daily basis not because people  said so, but because I feel I have more to discover in me and more to give and share with others.

Freedom today for me is when I am not compared with anyone out there and when I stop comparing myself with anyone as well. 

Freedom to Eat and Drink like a Teen Does

My mom is a health nut! Yes she’s training to become a Health Coach and on top of that she’s a Chemical Engineer!   She basically understands chemicals much more than a normal person around me would. Lately she’s exploring about ingredients on the food label.  It’s all good because she really cares about our health, wants to teach us to make the right decisions when it comes to food and understand to "Let thy food be thy medicine".  But at the same time I am a part of this group called teens! The TEENS of 2014!

In this world of experiments that she does with foods, I have ended up trying every single green smoothie she has made.  Some crazy green smoothies are made with extremely healthy dark greens like kale and spinach.  Other green juices involve wheat grass that need to be swished around in our mouths.  I have also tried the best proteins that involve quinoa (Pronounced as kin-wa but it looks like Kee-Nova to me). There are also some super foods like goji berries, chia seeds and hemp seeds as she calls them that I had never heard of, but they are now a part of my smoothie.  I cannot even start listing the rest of them, but a whole lot of ingredients in my life have changed because I know my mom cares a lot about me and my health.  All I can say is that if it’s healthy and good for my body I have tried it. And no complaints because I have been amazingly healthy with side effects of tons of energy, liveliness and positive attitude!

But guess what I am a teen and I live in a world where teen consume so many things just cause it looks cool. Some of such cool things that come to my mind are-

1. Coke- The No. 1 drink on my list contains Aspartame. Most of the chewing gums contains this sweetener too.  It is something that causes a whole lot of diseases I would not want my body to have.
2. Food coloring and dyes- My favorite cereals and candies have them. But mom says they are made out of petroleum products. Now why aren’t food colors made out of food? I don’t understand why we need synthetic materials in our food?
3. Natural Flavors that are made from Beaver Butt! Really! This one is in just about everything and its disgusting. I saw a video on Food babe. Ugh. Check it out for yourself at the link below.
4. Sweets that are made from HFCS. Oh No, I am turning into my mom! I know what HFCS stands for. Do you? High Fructose Corn Syrup. And this sweetener is everywhere in everything.

Life is turning into a very difficult place to live- all because I want to be a part of the community that is called teen!  A normal regular teen who can just go about freely and put whatever type of food in his/her mouth when he/she wants to. I want to be like a normal regular teen who doesn't find the need to know where his/her food is coming from.  A normal regular teen who doses on sugar as many times as he/she wants to. 

But living with a health nut (in all good ways) has definitely made me think. Even when I try to have a guilt free drink full of chemicals it is just not possible.  Over time I have realized that I do care about my health.  I tend to choose water over other sugary drinks that are just a concoction of chemicals. It seems to be important to me that I grow into a healthy individual full of energy.  While I don’t want to be called the son of a health nut I definitely don’t want to compromise my health. It is absolutely a struggle choosing to be a teen who is different.  But this time I will say while I wish to have the freedom to eat and drink the way a teen does I also would like to demand for cleaner foods and be a part of the change that our society needs so that all teens can make the right choice.  This year we have taken a step towards knowing where our food comes from by joining the Community Sustainable Agriculture program (http://www.localharvest.org/csa/) where we join hands with a farmer and get our organic vegetables from our local farmer.  

If you’d like to learn more about all these wonderful things go to www.rupavadodaria.com/blog. You will find a lot of tips on taking charge of your health. Check out these two infographics first.  

http://www.rupavadodaria.com/blog/2014/04/fructose-overload-infographic

http://www.rupavadodaria.com/blog/2014/04/coke-is-a-joke-alarming-aspartame-facts

See you soon. With more topics on freedom to explore!

References:

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2013/08/28/soda-aspartame.aspx

http://www.mercola.com/article/aspartame/hidden_dangers.htm

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2011/02/24/are-you-or-your-family-eating-toxic-food-dyes.aspx

http://foodbabe.com/2013/09/09/food-babe-tv-do-you-eat-beaver-butt/

http://drhyman.com/blog/2011/05/13/5-reasons-high-fructose-corn-syrup-will-kill-you/

Freedom is when I am allowed to play on computer as long as I want to with no inflicted guilt.

Freedom is “when I can play on the computer as long as I want to,” according to my teenager. And his argument continues…

“Now if my mom can sit in front of the computer all day long for her job and do a desk job, why can't I sit in front of the computer and just play? If she, along with a million others, does their job while staring at the screens, why can't I? If working on computers cannot increase her eye prescription, why does it have to suddenly affect mine even though my computer is much more advanced than her 6 years old laptop? How is it my fault that I was born in this age, where we all have a phone that is as good as a slightly older computer, a way to see and help each other in homework is via Skype, the ability to talk is via Texting, we share our life via Instagram, we make our friend circle bigger via Facebook, and we make sure we stay in touch via Twitter? Most of all, we challenge each other by strategizing and actually using our brains to solve difficult problems that we are forced into while playing a game - plus our fingers get a workout!"

Truly, as a parent, I did not need to do much because he himself had to add this to his argument:

“Now I do agree that I need to make sure I manage my grades - and so I do. I am an Honors student, participate in a lot of extra-curricular activities, and am as social as a kid this age can be. No bragging but I also do the Odyssey of the Mind, which is a creative problem solving program that my mom coaches and get to work with a team of other friends my age. And I also enjoy books! Actually what I enjoy the most is when me and my mom read the same books and we are almost racing to finish them first. It is very nice to have someone in the family read the same book, so we can discuss it. I also enjoy playing music and am in our school's Jazz band. I want to make it clear that I do understand that playing on the computer for too long can be numbing. Sometimes it works as a thriller and some other times it actually feels very meditative because I'm totally isolated from the world around me. But I understand what my mom is worried about the most. She feels that playing on the computer absolutely narrows my world and that is what she is afraid of the most. I do understand!! And I understand the concept of MODERATION. Anything in moderation is good but when done beyond extremes can be unhealthy. So mom I agree with everything you have to say, and while I say that, I want to play as long as I want to. What I mean is I want to be playing without fear. I want to be playing without feeling guilty about it. I want to be playing just because I am a good kid, and I do everything else necessary to keep myself safe and healthy. And After a STRESSFUL day at SCHOOL I just want to enjoy some time playing. Even if playing in 2014 might not quite mean the same as it did for you in 1980’s.

"And one request for all parents: Teens in general like me just need a tap on their shoulder to remind them that we have lost track of time, and we just need to sometimes remove ourselves from what we are doing. As a parent you need to understand that our biology is all messed up, and all we need is just some more attention and someone to set some limits for us.